my day has been crazy. the past two days have been crazy. yesterday I already ranted about so you can read that post on my blog below. but today was just a tiny bit better, still pretty bad.
i had a hectic day at school which just threw me off. and then after school my game plan was attend the mandatory meeting for Friday’s talent show I am in and then race to work, where surely it would be a slow night. At the talent show run through, i didn’t do too hot, but i didn’t think it was too bad. i was just so out of it and worried and trapped in negative thoughts that I couldn’t really tell. but then i just got a message on facebook from another girl in my act who said she can’t believe i just stopped during the performance (I have no recollection doing that) and totally messed it up. she told me that i need to run through it basically a million times by friday. so i wrote up the order of the irish dance and sent it to her, making sure i was right in my reasoning. i’m still waiting to hear back but it was just an annoying and really frazzling message to get.
then, work canceled on me which should have been a good thing but i was already worked up about getting there after the show so i was literally dying in my car. i had run off stage after performing and then rushed to my car to drive (which probably would’ve been speeding if i hadn’t gotten the text saying i didn’t need to come in.) i was sick from running and pushing myself and felt nauseous. it wasn’t fun :( then i called my madre on the way home (who just freaked out at me yesterday so there is tension between us) to let her know work canceled. she said that was great because they invited the grandparents over. so it was dinner and a show (that I was okay and not completely frazzled.)
i feel blah right now. tell me, why do i have to be superwoman and do everything?